


Somewhere near the mistletoe

by starfleetbanana



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2847674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfleetbanana/pseuds/starfleetbanana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas means a lot of different things to everyone, for Leonard McCoy it might mean loneliness, but with someone to take care of whose smile is bright and impossible to ignore the holidays can get a special meaning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere near the mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nanasteiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanasteiger/gifts).



Leonard knew finals were one of the worst things in life, probably, just like everyone else, but he was kind of used to studying constantly after med school. It had stopped being such a hard thing to do, but it wasn’t pleasant at all either. Now Jim seemed oddly good at forgetting about everything except a casual conversation with him, and quick dinners before getting back to old books he’d borrowed from the library, or the multiple PADDs scattered across their desk.

He’d been trying to focus on the chapter on Andorian anatomy for the last hour and a half, but it seemed impossible to get more names of Andorian bones in his head. He needed to get some sleep because he wasn’t learning a thing, and he was just losing time he couldn’t afford to waste. He was sleep-deprived and, most importantly, coffee deprived, and things wouldn’t work that way.

Christmas was getting inevitably closer, and he was sure he wasn’t the only person in the world who had forgotten how to enjoy the holidays. That’s why he wasn’t alone in the dorms.

The Academy wasn’t a bad place at all, but he felt a bit bitter about staying there, and not having a place where he’d be gladly received during Christmas. Most of the cadets were going to their homes, or their significant others’, in-laws’, friends’, anywhere. But he was still there.

For a second it felt like he really was alone in the world, even though the messy bed in front of his meant he wasn’t.

The door whooshed open and Jim stepped into the room holding a bitten red apple in one hand, and a scarf in the other, which had been sent by Winona last Christmas.

“The library’s so empty is depressing” Jim said walking toward his bed. “Lots of students out there with their bags, going to their last exams” He sat on the bed and took off his snow covered black boots –because, of course, he had to be dramatic and walk on the snow-. Leonard sighed and looked at his wet hair, which made Jim look a bit childish. Somehow, his socks were wet too. “Are you going home later?”

“Two exams left. I don’t have time to think about Christmas” He answered as if he didn’t care. He furrowed his brow as he remembered how stressful it had been looking for a present for Jim. Pretending he could actually concentrate on the name and function of every bone of the Andorian exoskeleton wasn’t working.

Jim, as always, shrugged off the subject, knowing that was the way they both managed whatever emotional problem they had. Jim respected Bones’ privacy when it came to his problems, and Leonard was a hundred percent sure their friendship didn’t need any more tragedy than a broken coffee machine and the possibility of having a very cold Christmas watching old holos and boring movies Jim loved.

Suddenly Jim biting the stupid apple distracted him.

“Gaila left too?” He asked looking out the window. Cadets dressed in red were walking under the roofed corridors that connected the buildings evading the snow, probably exactly what Jim hadn’t done earlier.

“She’s going to spend the holidays with Uhura. You know, it’s her first Christmas, must be exciting” Jim said with a smile on his face, as if Christmas meant anything more than missing his family for him. He chewed on his dry lower lip.

Bones nodded at him and went back to the PADD he was holding.

Jim lied on the bed, and stared at the ceiling for a while. He felt a bit selfish, but he really hoped Leonard would stay there with him, at least during Christmas Eve, just to have the opportunity to hand him his present.

Jim knew the holidays were a subject a bit delicate for Bones after David’s death, and his divorce, even though Jo would probably call, or something. It’d be different, but then again at least he wouldn’t drink himself to tears this year, or at least Jim hoped so. Christmas was hard for him too. It had always been just him and his mum, because he never had the chance to really celebrate it as a child, with his mother working in a space station. He missed her, but she was an Admiral now, so he just held onto the idea of her having a nice dinner and surviving to all those assholes surrounding her.

“Are you going anywhere for Christmas?” Jim asked, supposedly out of curiosity.

“Don’t know yet, kid” Bones’ answered in a harsh voice without looking at him.

“Mh” Jim said. He turned around on the bed, facing the wall. After a while he closed his eyes, and tried to forget Bones’ expression the first time they’d gotten drunk together and had talked about their unsolved emotional problems. It had been quite ironic, Jim thought. He had been so very careful not to mention his feelings because he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable nor take advantage of Bones’ weird way of thinking when he was drunk.

Unlike Bones, Jim’s last exam was in a few hours, but that wasn’t really worth mentioning, because then they’d get into one of those talks about feelings, which Jim absolutely hated because Bones knew how to make him talk –kind of scary, by the way-. He was busy anyways, because Pike had asked him for a stupid favour, or that’s what he’d told Bones, because why on earth would he want to know he wasn’t getting drunk or hit in some cheap bar or crying himself to sleep like a broken kid just not to leave him alone.

It was a bit ridiculous, but he knew he loved Leonard, and _yes,_ he was a bit careless and irresponsible, but he could be a good friend if he wanted to be one.

Bones’ train of thought wasn’t entirely different. He wanted to be there for Jim, but he was using that as an excuse to cover the fact that all he had, or was allowed to have, was in Starfleet Academy, next to him. And if he had to hold onto someone, that was definitely going to be Jim.

The blue colour of the painting of the Andorian on the PADD reminded him of the colour of the sky, and of Jim’s eyes. How romantic, he thought. He was glad he wasn’t a loud thinker like Jim was.

“Do you like winter, Jim?” He asked suddenly. He knew Joanna loved the snow, and it would’ve been certainly weird if Jim didn’t enjoy it as much as she did, because he was probably the only person in the world who kids really liked.

“Yeah, do you want to build a snowman or something?” Jim’s voice was muffled by the pillow he was holding to keep his forehead from hitting the wall in case he fell asleep.

“Never liked the cold that much”

“I thought you were used to it by now. Space is cold, you know that, right?” Jim said with a smile, as he turned around to face Bones again.

“That’s exactly why I don’t like it” He answered with his eyes still fixed on the picture.

“Come on, Bones. I’m gonna be there with you. I bet Christmas will be great with me as your captain, don’t you think?” He laughed. His eyes always seemed a bit brighter every time he mentioned being a captain. After all those years ignoring what he was made for, his dream was coming true if he worked hard enough.

“Remember I’ll be the only one on the ship that will be able to get your ass out of that chair when I want to” Leonard said with a cocky grin, which was very unusual of him. Then he left the PADD on the bedside table between their beds.

He lied on the bed, facing Jim as he drifted off.

“Your uniform’s wet, Jim”

“Yeah, went out for a walk. I wanted to get an apple” Jim’s voice sounded sleepy and adorable. He looked quiet, and beautiful.

“Without a jacket or a coat. Oh, you so genius level repeat offender” Bones was impressed by how many times he sighed at whatever Jim did during the day. Jim yawned in response, looking at him with tired eyes.

“Tired” Jim said after tucking his hands under the pillow.

“Don’t ask for a hypo later”

“I won’t” Jim said and turned to face the wall again, covering himself with the blankets he’d pushed over his feet. He wondered if he was a real exhausted asshole, or if he just wanted Bones’ attention before closing his eyes once again.

After a while Bones stood up and sighed. He helped a sleepy Jim change from his cold and wet cadet reds to a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a clean undershirt. He was incredibly cold. Then he went back to his bed, and got in it to try to get some sleep before facing the fact that he needed to start studying.

Finals were awful indeed, but not because of stress, but because of the circumstances he found himself in: currently in bed, staring at the nape of Jim’s neck while trying to stop thinking about how much an immature kid meant for him. It made him feel guilty.

 

-

 

The next morning felt completely different. The storm had gotten worse overnight, and Leonard had woken up at seven in the morning to take another exam on history of Terran medicine. It hadn’t been that hard for him because he had studied the same thing before.

Jim had taken his last final on navigation and helm techniques the day before, which had been easy because when he said he didn’t believe in no-win scenarios he meant it.

He took his boots off before stepping into the room and, just as he had expected, Jim was sneezing inside what seemed a blanket and cushion fort between their beds, just under the window.

“Where are the bedside table and the PADD?”

“You’re not welcome in this fort, doctor McCoy”.

“Told you you’d need a hypo today” He said with a smile just waiting for Jim’s reaction. Jim didn’t answer, so he sat on his bed and took off the rest of his uniform. “Do you need anything?” Leonard asked before going to their closet to put on a pair of grey sweatpants and a clean black undershirt.

“No, thanks” Jim answered stubbornly after clearing his throat.

“If you need anything just ask. Promise I won’t laugh” Bones said sincerely as he walked through the room to hang his jacket on the closet door. Then he sat in front of the desk and started reading one of the PADDs Jim had left there. It was on something he’d never had the curiosity to ask about: Jim’s father’s death. George Kirk had been as much of a subject between them as David McCoy. Probably Jim had studied that for him exam to have something real to base the planned techniques and not only hypothetical situations.

Bones knew Jim’s perspective on the Kelvin incident had changed since he was in the academy, and he had opened his heart once or twice because he needed to talk, or just to be listened on his never ending mourning.

“Do you know what I wanna do now?” Leonard asked tentatively.

“What?” Jim said in a hoarse voice. Probably he was hurting everywhere, but he wasn’t going to ask for a thing.

“Build a snowman as you look at me through the window”.

“You’re an awful friend, and that’s creepy” Jim laughter was interrupted by another coughing fit. Bones laughed at him.

“An awful friend, who told you you were going to get sick, and helped you change” Jim coughed once again and hid his barely visible face under the blankets. There was a special one that was supposed to be in Bones’ bed.

He felt like utter crap, not only for being the kind of friend he was being, making Bones worry about him instead of doing whatever he preferred to do during the holidays, but also because his back and legs were killing him, and if he didn’t have a fever was only because he was lucky. He knew the fort wouldn’t be useful in a couple of hours.

Christmas holos weren’t the same without Bones’ complaining next to him, but after a few hours he was sure Bones was asleep after naming out loud the same bones he had been trying to learn the day before as he lied in bed looking at him, so asking him to join him wasn’t an option.

Bones was snoring once again, which suddenly made him feel obliged to get out of the fort and get something to eat, and a glass of water, because his throat was killing him, but as soon as he crawled outside the fort the cold hit him, and he hissed. Leonard woke up instantly - maybe because he was used to taking care of sick people and he was alert even in his sleep- and looked at him. He looked confused, and his hair was messy. Jim smiled at him.

“Just getting some food” He murmured and stood up. Bones stood up behind him and held onto his hand as he sat on the bed and stretched a bit.

“Get in bed. I’ll get something for both of us”

“Okay, but you need to study and I” Bones turned around looked at him with his brow furrowed. He knew Bones wasn’t a morning person, which made absolutely no sense because it was probably six in the afternoon but the point was made. He just nodded in response before sitting on his bed to get the blankets from the fort.

“How on earth did you have the energy to move the table and make that thing work?” Leonard asked emptying the cupboards and placing what he found which wasn’t very much. Apparently Christmas dinner was going to be a few packages of biscuits and a can of tuna if they didn’t count one of those instant soups Bones’ thought would be the most adequate thing to eat which clearly meant he wasn’t really focusing on what he was doing.

“Two days ago you hid the healthy food from me, Bones” Jim said when he was finally under the blankets, and Bones laughed.

Suddenly the room seemed a lot cosier from Jim’s point of view as Bones walked toward him with a package of oatmeal biscuits and two mugs of hot tea, one hot for him and an iced one for Jim. He sat next to him, and Jim made a sound that was supposed to be a compliant but Bones didn’t react to it and just took his PADD from the desk and started reading, holding the mug between his thighs.

“You won’t get better quickly without a hypo, so you better get used to it” Bones said without taking his eyes out of the PADD, the bastard was smiling and it was obvious he was enjoying it because, even though he was being kind, his grin only meant it was some kind of long forgotten revenge. He wasn’t going to complain, of course, because being his patient was probably the only possibility of being that close to him without a questioning look or a compliant. He was considerate after all.

Jim fell asleep once again -after drinking his tea and eating a few biscuits-as he looked at Bones, who apparently was trying to ignore him. It wasn’t working as well as it seemed, because Jim’s cheeks were red, and he was getting more and more worried about the snoring kid as time passed. A fever would be easy to treat, but he had to wake him up and help him quickly because Jim wasn’t the ideal patient and his whole body apparently hated him when he was ill, even if it was just a common cold.

He left the PADD and the mug on the desk, as he sat on the edge of Jim’s bed, then he walked toward the incredibly useless headboard, and placed his hand delicately over Jim’s forehead and cheeks. He had a fever, indeed.

Jim mumbled something without opening his eyes and Bones whispered “you missed Christmas” amusedly, just because he knew Jim would open his eyes and look at him with an expression he’d never let himself forget.

“Oh my god, my head is killing me” Jim said and then hissed looking at Bones like asking for help. He didn’t move though, so Bones had to help him sit.

“We’ve gotta get that fever reduced the old way, kid” Bones said, because he knew Jim would complain the second he told him he’d have to put several cold towels on his body.

He knew Jim liked the cold in a special way. He enjoyed getting wet in the rain and the snow, which was a stupid thing to do, but he kept on doing it even after Bones had insulted him a few times already. But whenever he was tired he needed to be warm, which led them both to what, at first, had been awkward moments, but now were just another part of their friendship, like wearing each other’s clothes, borrowing blankets, scarves, or just sleeping in the same bed.

“Did you finish studying already? When is your last exam?”

“Yes, I finished studying, but I still have a few hours left. I just want to cure your fever before taking the exam. You’ll die if I leave you by yourself” He walked toward Jim again, moving the blankets so they’d cover just Jim’s thighs. “I need to put this on your lower abdomen, another one in your forehead, and a last one behind your neck, okay?”

“Oh my god, are you kidding me, no, no, no, no, no” Leonard put on the wet towels on his clammy skin as Jim tried to move away from him and grabbed his bicep tightly. “I hate you so much, Bones” He whispered once he had the last towel over his forehead.

“I’ll have to change them as soon as they get hot, so don’t get used to being comfortable, kid”. Leonard added glancing at him.

He wondered how he could love someone like him, not because he was a bad person, or anything, but because sometimes he was just like any other kid. It was a bit deeper than just not knowing how to take care of himself, but he was okay with it. If he had to do it for Jim, he’d gladly stay with him and help with whatever he needed, even if it meant having to change wet towels every five minutes. Jim ended up shouting “no, no, no, no” every time he did, but that made it even more worth it.

Then he went to take his last exam, the one that seemed impossible to study for with a sick best friend beside him. Again, it wasn’t that bad, but he kept thinking about Jim tossing and turning in the bed, being too cold, or covered in too many blankets, which would be completely useless if his temperature hadn’t been lowered.

The kid wasn’t as desperate as Bones thought he’d be. The only problem was that moving hurt, and Bones had told him to drink something like a litre of water before he came back. It was impossible for him just to move his arm and get the glass of cold water that was on the bedside table.

Leonard had tidied the room up before leaving, and Jim convinced himself he needed to do something to pay for what Bones was doing for him. It wasn’t like he’d never been taken care of before, but he was used to doing things by himself, and he couldn’t avoid thinking what he’d do as a Captain without McCoy’s help on the ship, if they ever made it to the last year in the Academy. Starfleet was a big dream, and a ship in the middle of space still seemed quite impossible.

He felt a bit useless in bed, when he could’ve been doing something like – god, he didn’t even know. Receiving Bones’ attention made him feel nice, but also selfish, because he knew there were more important things than sitting next to him for hours and hours just to make sure he was comfortable. But there also were more important things than waiting anxiously for Jo to call Leonard, or planning how to say something important without messing things up or making it awkward.

When McCoy was back in the room Jim had already managed to drink half a litre of water that had made him a bit nauseous, and actually looked a bit better.

“How was the exam?” Jim asked as Bones sat on the bed just where he was before. He knew Bones was a great student because he loved being a doctor, and some Starfleet subjects made his career choice even more interesting, but he looked a bit different, as if something had hit him in the middle of his way back to their dorm.

“Jo called, she’s doing fine. Got my present early, but Jocelyn didn’t let her open it before Christmas. They’re fine, mama’s fine too” Bones sighed, and Jim knew why he looked the way he did. It wasn’t quite like a broken or hurt person, it was someone who was missing a part of himself so bad and he couldn’t place it back, because whatever he had with his family wasn’t going to go back to ‘normal’, and he just had to find a way to deal with it. Both of them understood Jocelyn wanting to protect Jo from what people thought of Leonard in their town rather than Leonard himself after the whole thing with David’s death had been resolved. And now he was the one that couldn’t go home, or didn’t really know where home was anymore. He just wanted to see his mama, and Jo, and be able to wish a Merry Christmas to Jocelyn without feeling the words tasting like betrayal. “She told me to say hello, and Merry Christmas to you”.

Jim nodded and placed his hand on Bones’ thigh. A simple reassuring touch, letting him know he had the right to feel the way he felt.

“Sometimes I really wish I was different, like one of those damned assholes who don’t give a damn about their kids” He held Jim’s hand tightly in both of his hands, and then lied on his back beside Jim. “I just really hope she likes the present” He said before turning around, and just holding a pillow against his face.

Jim knew Leonard wasn’t the type of person who allowed himself to be broken in front of another person, but he was his best friend, so he left him cry, knowing that he needed silence, and just a moment to let the emotions go away with a few tears. After all he deserved to be a bit messed up.

“We’re going to have a great Christmas, don’t worry” Jim whispered. Bones looked at him with red rimmed eyes, and a sad smile.

 

-

 

“What the hell, Jim?” He’d been woken up by a noise he couldn’t quite recognize with his eyes closed. Jim wasn’t next to him anymore, and he hoped he wasn’t sleeping on the floor, or outside if he had enough energy to get out of the room.

The room was dark, but Jim was there, somewhere, singing to “Let it snow” with that amazing singing voice that made him feel something warm spreading inside through his ribcage. It was absolutely awful.

“Decorating, Bones. Come on, get up, help me, I’m the sick one” He said from what Leonard supposed was the other side of the room, and before getting out of bed, he just sat there trying to see what Jim was doing, but his eyes weren’t accustomed to the weak moonlight.

“Why is everything so dark?” The answer was far quicker than he had expected. There was a little plastic tree just next to their closet, and Jim had just finished placing the lights all around the branches in something that didn’t look really messy.

If there was something Jim had the ability to do was fixing problems, however insignificant they were, like decorating a Christmas tree with cotton –the old way-, and pieces of chocolate he’d probably found in one of the cupboards wrapped in colourful paper.  

“Where did you get the lights?”

“Quick solutions, barely recovered. We’re gonna have a good time” Jim said with a cocky grin in his face. He still looked a bit weak, his voice was hoarser than usual, and his skin looked paler but his eyes were as bright as the first time he’d seen the Enterprise, Pike’s ship, knowing he’d be there someday. “Wanted to get some Christmas cookies before tonight, but the cafeteria’s closed and the replicators are locked so maybe I’ll get some food for us tomorrow. We can watch holos if you feel like doing something instead of, you know, crying in bed next to me?”

Bones smiled at him, and hugged him as an honest way of thanking him for being there. Sometimes he thought he had found Jim for a reason. He was meant to change his life, to make things better, to love him better, or to make him know what love felt like, without breaking someone else in the way.

Leonard cleared his throat. “Is there any mistletoe?”

“Umh, no” Jim said, trying to get away from Bones’ arms, ending up hiding his blush in the crook of Bones’ neck as he laughed. “I hate you, you better like for your present”.

 

-

 

Bones was sitting next to the little tree Jim had moved to a place where they’d have more space to sit on comfortably. They’d eaten a bowl full of cookies that didn’t taste as good as his mama’s but he was glad Jim hadn’t gone anywhere and was there, complaining about the cold and the amount of blankets that were definitely not enough.

He was sneezing next him, blowing his nose every minute, interrupting the holo every single time he did. He mumbled something between sneezes.

“Merry Christmas to you too” Leonard answered, noticing Jim had probably looked at the clock. Jim leaned his body against his side, and closed his eyes, taking in the moment, making sure not to forget the memory. It was his first Christmas that actually felt like it was supposed to.

McCoy reached the poorly wrapped presents under their little Christmas tree, and gave his to Jim. After Jim gladly destroyed the paper, he saw the present and just smiled to himself, thanking whatever he believed in just because his present wasn’t too much either. They were a pair of gloves and a hat made of wool that Jim needed to get through the winter.

Bones opened his and he found a book he’d talked about a few months before. He was a bit surprised Jim had actually remembered that. It was an actual book, just like Jim liked them, a hardcover one.

“Thanks” Jim said and put on his hat. “Very thoughtful of you Leonard McCoy”

“Come on, look inside, there’s something else” He answered with a teasing smile. God, he could feel butterflies in his stomach, or something worse, actual anxiety.

“Oh, come on!” Jim looked at him and just genuinely smiled. He looked even more beautiful with a beautiful and sincere smile in his face. “Mistletoes don’t work that way, you can’t just put them inside Christmas patterned paper, Bones”

“I can hold it” Leonard said before taking it away from Jim’s hands and placing it above their heads. Sharing a chaste kiss with Jim seemed ridiculous. Jim sneezed, Bones laughed nervously and then whispered _oh, fuck it._

Their kiss felt warm in the middle of the cold room, lips brushing against each other’s, and teeth slightly scratching each other’s dry skin, both their tongues moving slowly, and hands awkwardly holding onto each other’s clothes. Jim apologised, saying he couldn’t breathe through his nose, and he needed a moment to blow his nose again, and just like that, in the middle of a stupid conversation that turned into something about cold, Bones knew Jim was always going to be there for him, in sickness or health, which seemed a bit odd and funny.

They didn’t need more than two presents, or a big Christmas tree, full of lights, and people’s hugs. They didn’t need more than what they had, even if the next year Christmas was completely different, and much happier than they ever thought it’d be.

 

**Author's Note:**

> First work published here. Written for the mckirk fan coalition Secret Santa, for the amazing tumblr user jimfromthesky.


End file.
